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    Kaere
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    Quite upsetting...

    Post  Kaere on Mon Apr 12, 2010 4:14 am

    I had a horrible dream just before I woke up this morning. It's not like my usual dreams that I remember. I should make clear that I've been asking and meditating for clarity and guidance from my guides and angels about what I should be doing for my greater good, what I need to do to move forward...it was the last thing I did last night before going to sleep. So here's the dream. I hope this doesn't upset anyone.

    I was a soldier in Vietnam out on the town with a buddy who had arranged for a "girlfriend" of his to meet us at a bar. The bar was very small and there were two booths along side the right hand wall. There were mirrors on the wall and these orange paper lanterns hanging over the booths. I knew I was a soldier but I was in civilian clothes, cream coloured short sleeve button down shirt and I was kinda scrawny for a soldier. I was white and my buddy was a black man. This girl was sitting on my left hand side - wearing one of those pretty form fitting dresses with short sleeves and a high neckline, but it didn't fit her well and she was very uncomfortable. (I hate this part) I was quite inebriated in the dream and I kept grabbing her where I shouldn't have been and generally being a disgusting pig, and she was flinching away from me and pushing my hands away. But in my dream it felt completely normal and I didn't care really what she was thinking or feeling, I just kept at it.. When she wasn't keen on the both of us we drove her home, in a school bus type thing. Here the perspective changed and it seemed I was watching from the other side of a wall looking at the road. The buddy drove along side where her home was but didn't stop the bus and I saw myself push her out the door of the moving bus and we kept going. But I was still watching from back at her home behind the wall thing. I saw her climb up over the wall, land on the dusty ground, and brush her clothes with her hands trying to get the dirt off. She didn't look young anymore, she was very very old - these kids came by and were taunting her, saying "mamma was there she saw you", and this girl/old woman started shuffling down the path to her home, but she was broken, y'know? Just so defeated.

    I haven't been able to shake this horrible feeling about it...like I want to have shower after shower and just keep scrubbing. Ugh - there are a few dreams that I remember so vividly and this will be one of them I'm sure. A friend suggested it might be a past life thing and I'm rather inclined to agree - it does seem to mirror my own life and issues this time around, but reversed somewhat. Something to let go of perhaps?

    Any thoughts would be welcome, as really, I think this is more than a dream.
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    shayn
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    Re: Quite upsetting...

    Post  shayn on Mon Apr 12, 2010 11:09 am

    hi Kaereit felt for me that at one point you kind of stopped being the soldier and become the girl, is that right?at the beginning of your dream i thought that the girl is something you really want and you even envy others that have it and you want it too, and too much that you can't wait till you have it for yourself. - is this makes some sense?the other part felt more like, taking something holly and misused it. and feeling bad about it, maybe because you understood it.  can it be that you misusing yourself, hurting yourself, keep doing things you don't like and things you don't want to, just because you are used to this kind of life and behavior? or just because it is too hard to change?  now i'm allmost sure that the soldier and the girl are both 2 aspects of you. and you keep hurting yourself for some reason and you don't feel good about it, you feel broken and still not up to change it.i don't know about past life stuff, and i allways say that NOW is the life you are living, so the NOW is the place to deal with things and heal them. so i would say look for the answers in your NOW life. and you say that in away it mirrors or represents your present life. ask yourself what felt wrong in your dream for you. i think there are few parts. write it down, write your emotions about it, see if you can see where and how it mirrors your present life. there you will be able to start and look for answers.and yes dear it is ok to be sad about your life and yourself. but you can also heal it and change it and make yourself proud again. wear an outfit that you will feel comfortable in.
    bless you dear and a  big hug
    shayn

    Kaere
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    Re: Quite upsetting...

    Post  Kaere on Mon Apr 12, 2010 4:55 pm

    Thank you so much for your thoughts on this shayn. You've given me much to ponder. I wasn't the girl at all in the dream, was definitely the soldier but viewing the scene from a different perspective. Rather like seeing the effects of my actions. The feelings from the dream are still very very strong - yesterday was a hard day emotionally and today as well so far.
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    Lightseeker
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    Re: Quite upsetting...

    Post  Lightseeker on Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:20 am

    It seems that your subconsciousness was reminding you how destructive lust can be.
    As you know already, The content of the Dream is usually a veihcle to convey the message. So it's important to remember that the lust portrayed in the dream is quiet possibly far removed from the object of desire in your waking world.

    In achieving your Goals and ambitions..Who stands to get hurt ?

    Don't shoot the messenger :(

    Kaere
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    Re: Quite upsetting...

    Post  Kaere on Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:43 am

    No, Lightseeker, I would never shoot the messenger.

    It doesn't resonate with me however...I have no ambitions or goals towards anyone or anything really. Mostly I'm stuck. But I'll think about this a little bit and do some brainstorming. Thanks for your input
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    shayn
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    Re: Quite upsetting...

    Post  shayn on Thu Apr 15, 2010 8:13 am

    kaere, i think there is one good point in what  lightseeker wrote: "In achieving your Goals and ambitions..Who stands to get hurt ?" i think this is something to think about deeply especially when you write you feel stuck,maybe you yourself will get hurt if you go out there and fight for what you want for yourself? maybe you fear for your family? your stability in life? i guess there are many levels for this question...
    just a suggestion.
    s

    Kaere
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    Re: Quite upsetting...

    Post  Kaere on Thu Apr 15, 2010 10:46 pm

    Hi shayn, thanks for that. Ummmm...yeah, I'd get hurt in a big way. You're right - something to think about.
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    NightSpirit
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    Re: Quite upsetting...

    Post  NightSpirit on Mon May 10, 2010 1:30 am

    I'd see the dream as saying "Stop fighting it and try not to see things so logically...so black and white. That your feminine side...which is intuition; creativeness; nurturing is out of balance. That you are too practical (seeing yourself as male in the dream) and need to nurture your intuitive feminine side more (right brain) to centre/balance and be able to tune into your guiding messages."
    Your use of symbols seem to point to this...(some ideas)
    male....logic, pratical, rational, dominance
    soldier...battles, fighting
    drunk...escapism, not wanting to face the facts
    feminine abuse/sexual....imbalance in the feminine side...lower aspects...root chakra

    Kaere
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    Re: Quite upsetting...

    Post  Kaere on Mon May 10, 2010 2:16 am

    Oh goodness NightSpirit...I think you're onto something there. I have a lot of that kind of imbalance - honestly I don't know how to follow my intuition or how to see things in shades of grey really. And not wanting to face the facts...yes, there's much of that mixed in there too even though deep down I know I should. Sometimes denial is all that gets you through the day.

    Thanks very much.

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