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    Having no regrets vs. Living with regrets

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    Walter27
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    Having no regrets vs. Living with regrets

    Post  Walter27 on Tue Sep 19, 2017 8:48 pm

    “Here’s the thing: If we have goals, dreams, and we want to do our best, and if we love people and don't want to hurt them or lose them… we should feel pain when things go wrong. The point isn't to live without any regrets, the point is to not hate ourselves for having them… 
    …regret doesn't remind us that we did badly, it reminds us that we know we can do better.”

    This quote came from a Ted Talk I just watched about regret. I’ve recently made it a point to do all of the things I want to do, with no regrets, but this video is all about living with regrets.

    I found this perspective rather interesting because when I think of regret my mind automatic jumps to things I should do, not things. Oppositely, I’m sure there are people whose minds work the exact opposite of me on this topic. 

    Either way, I just wanted to share this video as an encourage meant to anyone who is living with regret. If you're living with regret I reccomend you check this out… it provides awesome insight on how to live, cope and ultimately grow with regret. 

    Thoughts?


    If you want to watch, search: Kathryn Shultz Don't Regret Regret 
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    ameliorate
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    Re: Having no regrets vs. Living with regrets

    Post  ameliorate on Tue Sep 19, 2017 9:11 pm

    Welcome to this spiritual forum!  You might like to introduce yourself in this section


    http://www.spiritualinspiration.org/f1-introductions

    I can't really contribute to your thread since I don't have regrets!  Perhaps I see how if A didn't happen then B and C would not have occurred, i.e. can see the bigger picture when reflecting back.  Doing the best you can, mindful of learning from what doesn't succeed and accessing your intuition helps to stay on a more positive route.
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    psychoslice
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    Re: Having no regrets vs. Living with regrets

    Post  psychoslice on Wed Sep 20, 2017 3:01 am

    I have no regrets also, and i am happier than eve without them. :astar:

    Aube Borealis
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    Re: Having no regrets vs. Living with regrets

    Post  Aube Borealis on Wed Sep 20, 2017 5:56 am

    Hello Walter,

    Welcome to the community.

    On the topic of regrets, it means you learned something from that experience but it is still up to you if you'll take it positively or negatively. The good thing is that you are becoming cautious as you set your goals and making it happen while balancing your relationships with people, your situation and yourself. Regrets is a good reminder of not doing and going through the same mistake, a chance to make it right without hurting the people we love.
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    psychoslice
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    Re: Having no regrets vs. Living with regrets

    Post  psychoslice on Wed Sep 20, 2017 8:13 am

    Regrets are from the past, be here in the NOW and never suffer again from stupid regrets, they only leak your energy.
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    Blueanchor
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    Re: Having no regrets vs. Living with regrets

    Post  Blueanchor on Wed Sep 20, 2017 7:59 pm

    The different views are just due to the way that people interpret regret.

    There is regret that has associations to guilt, shame, self blame and painful memories. If that is whatvregretbis, then it stands to reason that a person is better off without it. 

    Then there is regret that has associations to acknowledgment of self responsibilty for personal responses and the personal development that comes from that.   

    Whether a person responds by having no regret or having plenty of regret depends on the associations a person makes to the word regret.
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    gigpdo
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    Re: Having no regrets vs. Living with regrets

    Post  gigpdo on Thu Sep 21, 2017 12:29 am

    Everyone,all of us have regrets,maybe you call it by another name,but we all have regrets,especially as children,and children no matter their background or upbringing have said some cruel things to other kids who were different!

    In primary school we had a girl who had been burnt,terribly burnt face and neck,she was in my class,by the time we left primary school aged 11 years this poor girl was virtually ostracised,her nickname was "burnt face Willis", and I regret that I was a part of that group of kids who left her to sit alone and be excluded from all little social groups or " clicks"!

    Yes I regret that,but I tell myself even now that I too was a child and didn't know any better!

    So,everyone has regrets,but they call them by another name,and I think we had a thread very similar to this recently were I said I regretted making friends with a certain person in my late teens,and I stand by that statement,we all have regrets,but we convince ourselves that we don't,we call them something else!

    :soap: :cat:

    Walter27
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    Re: Having no regrets vs. Living with regrets

    Post  Walter27 on Thu Sep 21, 2017 7:42 pm

    ameliorate wrote:Welcome to this spiritual forum!  You might like to introduce yourself in this section


    http://www.spiritualinspiration.org/f1-introductions

    I can't really contribute to your thread since I don't have regrets!  Perhaps I see how if A didn't happen then B and C would not have occurred, i.e. can see the bigger picture when reflecting back.  Doing the best you can, mindful of learning from what doesn't succeed and accessing your intuition helps to stay on a more positive route.
    Haha, got it, I am new to forums so I am still trying to figure it all out, thanks. 

    Thats awesome that you don't have any regrets, thats the life I'm trying to live. 

    Thank you for your feedback!

    Walter27
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    Re: Having no regrets vs. Living with regrets

    Post  Walter27 on Thu Sep 21, 2017 7:47 pm

    Blueanchor wrote:The different views are just due to the way that people interpret regret.

    There is regret that has associations to guilt, shame, self blame and painful memories. If that is whatvregretbis, then it stands to reason that a person is better off without it. 

    Then there is regret that has associations to acknowledgment of self responsibilty for personal responses and the personal development that comes from that.   

    Whether a person responds by having no regret or having plenty of regret depends on the associations a person makes to the word regret.
    Exactly, I completely agree! 

    I think I was just initially fascinated on how different people associate one word with different perspectives. Like, to one person, regret is something they should do and to others, regret is something they shouldn't have done.

    Walter27
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    Re: Having no regrets vs. Living with regrets

    Post  Walter27 on Thu Sep 21, 2017 7:51 pm

    gigpdo wrote:Everyone,all of us have regrets,maybe you call it by another name,but we all have regrets,especially as children,and children no matter their background or upbringing have said some cruel things to other kids who were different!

    In primary school we had a girl who had been burnt,terribly burnt face and neck,she was in my class,by the time we left primary school aged 11 years this poor girl was virtually ostracised,her nickname was "burnt face Willis", and I regret that I was a part of that group of kids who left her to sit alone and be excluded from all little social groups or " clicks"!

    Yes I regret that,but I tell myself even now that I too was a child and didn't know any better!

    So,everyone has regrets,but they call them by another name,and I think we had a thread very similar to this recently were I said I regretted making friends with a certain person in my late teens,and I stand by that statement,we all have regrets,but we convince ourselves that we don't,we call them something else!

    :soap: :cat:
    Thank you for you input, 

    I agree I can definitely remember times in my childhood years when I wasn't very nice to that kid who didn't fit a traditional mold. It's crazy because up until I read your reply I haven't thought about the times I've treated people poorly in my younger years at all. Maybe I've tried to repress those memories because I didn't like that part of me. 

    Very Interesting, Thanks again.

    Walter27
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    Re: Having no regrets vs. Living with regrets

    Post  Walter27 on Thu Sep 21, 2017 7:54 pm

    Aube Borealis wrote:Hello Walter,

    Welcome to the community.

    On the topic of regrets, it means you learned something from that experience but it is still up to you if you'll take it positively or negatively. The good thing is that you are becoming cautious as you set your goals and making it happen while balancing your relationships with people, your situation and yourself. Regrets is a good reminder of not doing and going through the same mistake, a chance to make it right without hurting the people we love.
    Completely agree, it's all about personal growth and using it as a tool to be a better person.
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    gigpdo
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    Re: Having no regrets vs. Living with regrets

    Post  gigpdo on Thu Sep 21, 2017 10:24 pm

    Well Walter27 you certainly got a few people answering your post,could that be conscrued as being "subconsciously guilty"?

    Not only did I answer your question but in doing so I admitted I was a rotten little child,but at 6-7 years of age kids don't know right from wrong,there were no parents following their kids around correcting them at primary school,but I remember asking my mother about all kinds of things as children do,but kids are very inquisitive,but I was very different to other kids,I was on another planet as a child,but I regret a lot of things,all except telling the truth,I never have in the past,present or future regretted being honest!

    One of the posters here is not being honest with their answer,you know who it is Walter27,but we all have regrets,all of us,we just butter them up to seem different,to be positive,regret seems to have a negative or failed connotation attached.
    Regrets are good for the body,spirit and soul,it means the "regretor" is on the right path of learning,the path to knowledge,able to realise what self really is!

    :soap: :cat:

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