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    The point?

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    Oishi
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    The point?

    Post  Oishi on Wed Sep 23, 2015 5:23 pm

    Talking with a friend over Skype who's just lost a family member, so not wanting to come off as overly preachy with the whole "They're in a better place" shin dig, I asked if they still believed in an after life and their more or less instant response was;

    "No, what would the point be in having an afterlife? An eternal 'soul' is a pretty ridiculous notion since anything lasting an eternity is impossible. Nothing lasts forever. So no, I do not." (Not a copy and paste just a basic summary of what they said since I'd feel wrong posting things directly from a private conversation)

    This friend used to be one of the few who believed in spirits and what not :worry:  so that response was really surprising. I get the feeling they're hurting a lot more than they're letting on, so they could just be angry or upset...but I just wanted to see what others thought's on the subject are.

    What is the point of an afterlife?

    mac
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    Re: The point?

    Post  mac on Wed Sep 23, 2015 6:12 pm

    Oishi wrote:Talking with a friend over Skype who's just lost a family member, so not wanting to come off as overly preachy with the whole "They're in a better place" shin dig, I asked if they still believed in an after life and their more or less instant response was;

    "No, what would the point be in having an afterlife? An eternal 'soul' is a pretty ridiculous notion since anything lasting an eternity is impossible. Nothing lasts forever. So no, I do not." (Not a copy and paste just a basic summary of what they said since I'd feel wrong posting things directly from a private conversation)

    This friend used to be one of the few who believed in spirits and what not :worry:  so that response was really surprising. I get the feeling they're hurting a lot more than they're letting on, so they could just be angry or upset...but I just wanted to see what others thought's on the subject are.

    What is the point of an afterlife?
    You've actually asked two things. 

    Re the first point you ask about: Your friend's loss of confidence is perhaps understandable because of the emotional stress of her loss.  It's sad, though, that the conviction your friend once enjoyed isn't helping her at the very time she especially needs help.  We can only hope that things change and she later sees things differently.

    As for what point is there in an afterlife you'd first need to explain what you understand about the very notion of survival.  Asking that simple question without the context of some fundamental understanding may not get you very far.  The answer could be a long one if you don't first have that.
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    Re: The point?

    Post  Violet on Tue Sep 29, 2015 11:45 pm

    I think along similar lines to mac, their grief is likely still very raw.   Many of us can find comfort in our beliefs but sometimes the pain is overwhelming, sometimes we lose faith in all we believe.



    Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.

    Oishi
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    Re: The point?

    Post  Oishi on Sun Oct 04, 2015 1:21 am

    mac wrote:
    Oishi wrote:Talking with a friend over Skype who's just lost a family member, so not wanting to come off as overly preachy with the whole "They're in a better place" shin dig, I asked if they still believed in an after life and their more or less instant response was;

    "No, what would the point be in having an afterlife? An eternal 'soul' is a pretty ridiculous notion since anything lasting an eternity is impossible. Nothing lasts forever. So no, I do not." (Not a copy and paste just a basic summary of what they said since I'd feel wrong posting things directly from a private conversation)

    This friend used to be one of the few who believed in spirits and what not :worry:  so that response was really surprising. I get the feeling they're hurting a lot more than they're letting on, so they could just be angry or upset...but I just wanted to see what others thought's on the subject are.

    What is the point of an afterlife?
    You've actually asked two things. 

    Re the first point you ask about: Your friend's loss of confidence is perhaps understandable because of the emotional stress of her loss.  It's sad, though, that the conviction your friend once enjoyed isn't helping her at the very time she especially needs help.  We can only hope that things change and she later sees things differently.

    As for what point is there in an afterlife you'd first need to explain what you understand about the very notion of survival.  Asking that simple question without the context of some fundamental understanding may not get you very far.  The answer could be a long one if you don't first have that.
    Hopefully, they were such a positive person; it's really upsetting seeing them like this, and I'm in a totally different country so I can't even help or be there for them...all it takes is them deciding to ignore me on skype and I can't do anything...

    I don't understand much tbh. Kind of why I was asking others thoughts, I can't help what I don't understand...I will admit I find it hard though, with my nan being diagnosed with Dementia and suffering from depression, I also get periods where I start shaking, get dizzy and for about an hour after my mind goes totally blank. I don't feel like 'me' it's like I lose all concept of feeling/emotion and sense of self; not sure if it's an actual medical problem or anxiety stemming from the depression, but it makes it hard to believe.

    mac
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    Re: The point?

    Post  mac on Sun Oct 04, 2015 8:55 am

    Oishi wrote:
    mac wrote:
    Oishi wrote:Talking with a friend over Skype who's just lost a family member, so not wanting to come off as overly preachy with the whole "They're in a better place" shin dig, I asked if they still believed in an after life and their more or less instant response was;

    "No, what would the point be in having an afterlife? An eternal 'soul' is a pretty ridiculous notion since anything lasting an eternity is impossible. Nothing lasts forever. So no, I do not." (Not a copy and paste just a basic summary of what they said since I'd feel wrong posting things directly from a private conversation)

    This friend used to be one of the few who believed in spirits and what not :worry:  so that response was really surprising. I get the feeling they're hurting a lot more than they're letting on, so they could just be angry or upset...but I just wanted to see what others thought's on the subject are.

    What is the point of an afterlife?
    You've actually asked two things. 

    Re the first point you ask about: Your friend's loss of confidence is perhaps understandable because of the emotional stress of her loss.  It's sad, though, that the conviction your friend once enjoyed isn't helping her at the very time she especially needs help.  We can only hope that things change and she later sees things differently.

    As for what point is there in an afterlife you'd first need to explain what you understand about the very notion of survival.  Asking that simple question without the context of some fundamental understanding may not get you very far.  The answer could be a long one if you don't first have that.
    Hopefully, they were such a positive person; it's really upsetting seeing them like this, and I'm in a totally different country so I can't even help or be there for them...all it takes is them deciding to ignore me on skype and I can't do anything...

    I don't understand much tbh. Kind of why I was asking others thoughts, I can't help what I don't understand...I will admit I find it hard though, with my nan being diagnosed with Dementia and suffering from depression, I also get periods where I start shaking, get dizzy and for about an hour after my mind goes totally blank. I don't feel like 'me' it's like I lose all concept of feeling/emotion and sense of self; not sure if it's an actual medical problem or anxiety stemming from the depression, but it makes it hard to believe.
    I'm not medically competent to judge but as a layperson it sounds like you have anxiety and depression. 

    Understanding about life, death and life beyond can be a wonderful and liberating journey but beginning it needs that first step.  Maybe when the immediacy of this personal crisis in your life has passed you'll feel you'd like to understand and that will be the right time for you. 

    For now, though, perhaps the best you can do is to empathise and be there for your friend, even though being there can't be face-to-face.
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    Crystal
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    Re: The point?

    Post  Crystal on Sun Oct 04, 2015 11:19 am

    Hi Oishi,

    You were right not to try the preaching approach. That does not usually go down well and can even lead the bereaved to thoughts of following and suicide. There is a time and place and right now when a death is new it is raw and the person will be going through a multitude of feelings and emotions. Not all of them good. There will be a lot of blame and guilt and anger as they work through each stage of their position. If you do have contact again urge them to go and see their doctor and ask for bereavement or grief counselling. Talking to a trained counsellor works well.

    You also seem to be exhibiting classic signs of depression and anxiety, and no wonder with the worries you are going through right now. Have you been to see your doctor and talked through these feelings and episodes? That should help you a lot, and although you may be worrying about depression it is not catching and it is treatable with good care it will simply disappear as if a fog has suddenly lifted.

    Beliefs change over time. Sometimes they drift to the background and other times they take centre stage. Please don't worry, you are being a good friend, but you also need to be a good friend to  yourself too. Don't forget that.  :)

    jimrich
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    An adventure

    Post  jimrich on Mon May 22, 2017 5:42 pm

    Oishi wrote:Talking with a friend over Skype who's just lost a family member, so not wanting to come off as overly preachy with the whole "They're in a better place" shin dig, I asked if they still believed in an after life and their more or less instant response was;

    "No, what would the point be in having an afterlife? An eternal 'soul' is a pretty ridiculous notion since anything lasting an eternity is impossible. Nothing lasts forever. So no, I do not." (Not a copy and paste just a basic summary of what they said since I'd feel wrong posting things directly from a private conversation)

    This friend used to be one of the few who believed in spirits and what not :worry:  so that response was really surprising. I get the feeling they're hurting a lot more than they're letting on, so they could just be angry or upset...but I just wanted to see what others thought's on the subject are.

    What is the point of an afterlife?
    I don't currently know but I'd guess it's the same as physical life ..... to have an adventure!  IMO, the ineffable Source projects apparent "things" and then enjoys the projections in ways that I am not wise enough to explain ....... YET.

    mac
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    Re: The point?

    Post  mac on Mon May 22, 2017 5:45 pm

    Oishi hasn't been around for even longer than Ronaii
    The author of this message was banned from the forum - See the message

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