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    Arguments in the forum

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    Violet
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    Arguments in the forum

    Post  Violet on Mon May 11, 2015 12:39 am

    Yet again new members are being driven away, so I am now banning personal arguing, if you have LEGITIMATE complaints about other members then you should contact me, privately. I cannot be here 24 hours a day so please be patient if I don't get back to you straight away. When I get time I will be removing offensive posts, I hoped being relaxed here would make for a more pleasant atmosphere for all, it is obviously not working out that way.



    Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.
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    1antique
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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  1antique on Tue May 12, 2015 5:05 am

    It is difficult to keep quiet when members are not allowed to begin new threads without being attacked by other members....which, by the way, is still happening. 

    Thunder Bow seems to think that he needs or has the right to control what is posted by certain members. He does not understand that YOU are the deciding factor as to what is allowed to be posted in the forums or not....even after you have already stated that what this person is posting is alright. He, once again, after this thread was posted, attacked Air Thoughts in a new thread.
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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  Aqua on Tue May 12, 2015 5:37 am

    Maybe the ones commenting haven't read Violets warning.
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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  Crystal on Tue May 12, 2015 1:12 pm

    Aqua wrote:Maybe the ones commenting haven't read Violets warning.


    But they are just commenting, or discussing, it is not an attack. Forums often have strong personalities that clash and it's not like there is a slagging off match with swearing and allsorts going on, it is all very polite really :)
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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  Crystal on Tue May 12, 2015 1:13 pm

    Violet wrote:Yet again new members are being driven away, so I am now banning personal arguing, if you have LEGITIMATE complaints about other members then you should contact me, privately. I cannot be here 24 hours a day so please be patient if I don't get back to you straight away. When I get time I will be removing offensive posts, I hoped being relaxed here would make for a more pleasant atmosphere for all, it is obviously not working out that way.


    can't Rainbow help you as moderator or has she gone again?
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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  Earthealer on Tue May 12, 2015 1:50 pm

    Sometimes though it does indeed feel like an attack. I know this because I've experienced it myself. I had to take some space before though. That's why I've gone away in the past and returned. But once you begin to see the realization of what can cause misunderstandings in part its not always possible to  tell whether its a debate or otherwise.

     I will send out some positive healing and love to the situation and wrap it in angelic healing with Aid of AA Raphael and hope that the situation resolves itself on its own accord. If it does not, it might be an idea to reiterate the ground rules of respect for others and their viewpoints/opinions/beliefs to be respected but not to convert. While certain subjects like debates can get heated, best to know where the invisible lines lay before it starts to feel like more of a attack rather than a debate. Just my thoughts though, and I hope differences are sorted soon so we can all get along in harmony. Big  :hugz: going out to Violet and team.
     
    Kudos for all the good work that you do.
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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  Thunder Bow on Tue May 12, 2015 5:01 pm

    My Navajo Attack Horse  :blush:

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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  Violet on Tue May 12, 2015 11:40 pm

    So why are people leaving stating *bullying and nastiness* as their reason for leaving?



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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  mac on Wed May 13, 2015 7:17 am

    Violet wrote:So why are people leaving stating *bullying and nastiness* as their reason for leaving?

    So we can see more of the picture, Violet, how many people have left because of those reasons? 

    As an onlooker, a slightly bemused one following the interchanges between certain members, the impression I've gained is   a)  it's a storm-in-a-teacup overall and b)  a situation of the frying pan calling the kettle black. 

    I see at least two members trying to get the better of one another - is it bullying when both are doing much the same?  I see a third member starting numerous threads, seemingly unconcerned about criticism of his style and unwillingness to engage with members.  Is the latter the one being bullied and has he complained about it?
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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  Earthealer on Wed May 13, 2015 7:55 am

    mac wrote:
    a situation of the frying pan calling the kettle black. 
     
    Do you mean pot calling kettle black ? ;) Same expression in other words.

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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  mac on Wed May 13, 2015 12:01 pm

    Earthealer wrote:
    mac wrote:
    a situation of the frying pan calling the kettle black. 
     
    Do you mean pot calling kettle black ? ;) Same expression in other words.
     No I meant what I wrote.  There are various versions but each has a similar meaning.  On any website with various continents represented there will be geographical variations of such sayings.  When I'm in the USA I often use a US version - if I'm in the UK, a Brit one.  I often do something similar with US vs UK spellings. 

    Sometimes I find it hard to remember which version belongs where! 
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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  Crystal on Wed May 13, 2015 12:47 pm

    I have a black kettle and a black frying pan... and sometimes I don't know where I am, hmm...

    I know that two good members left a while ago and that was very sad but that had nothing to do with Air,
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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  Native spirit on Wed May 13, 2015 2:29 pm

    What i see are difference of opinions im being honest i dont like that air just posts and leaves he doesnt interact with anyone,he is ignorant,
    he is preaching if i wanted to hear preachimg i would go to chapel or church  i dont because im not interested.
    if he interacted it wouldnt be so bad.but he is not interested,and i find that rude he is using the forums as his pulpit. we have strong people here each with our own way,but i do agree with a lot that Thunder Bow says

     Namaste
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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  Earthealer on Wed May 13, 2015 3:12 pm

    Aha okay mac... now I understand, thank ya for clarifying it. sometimes those old expressions surface everywhere lol 

    :giggles:
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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  Thunder Bow on Wed May 13, 2015 5:27 pm

    Native spirit wrote:What i see are difference of opinions im being honest i dont like that air just posts and leaves he doesnt interact with anyone,he is ignorant,
    he is preaching if i wanted to hear preachimg i would go to chapel or church  i dont because im not interested.
    if he interacted it wouldnt be so bad.but he is not interested,and i find that rude he is using the forums as his pulpit. we have strong people here each with our own way,but i do agree with a lot that Thunder Bow says

     Namaste

    Ahe'hee' :eyeroll:

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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  1antique on Wed May 13, 2015 5:51 pm

    Native Spirit wrote: wrote:What i see are difference of opinions im being honest i dont like that air just posts and leaves he doesnt interact with anyone,he is ignorant,
    he is preaching if i wanted to hear preachimg i would go to chapel or church  i dont because im not interested.
    if he interacted it wouldnt be so bad.but he is not interested,and i find that rude he is using the forums as his pulpit. we have strong people here each with our own way,but i do agree with a lot that Thunder Bow says

    If the 3 of you are so uninterested in what Air Thoughts posts, then why are you constantly in the threads? If I was uninterested in what someone was posting, I just would not click on the thread. But, the three of you are going out of your way just to degrade this member....i.e. calling Air Thoughts ignorant. 

    My best thought: Again, if you don't like what this member is posting, don't click on their thread.

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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  skye on Wed May 13, 2015 5:58 pm

    Violet wrote:Yet again new members are being driven away, so I am now banning personal arguing, if you have LEGITIMATE complaints about other members then you should contact me, privately. I cannot be here 24 hours a day so please be patient if I don't get back to you straight away. When I get time I will be removing offensive posts, I hoped being relaxed here would make for a more pleasant atmosphere for all, it is obviously not working out that way.

    There is a saying, okay there are a few but the one that comes to my mind when I see what I refer to as being unpleasant interaction on Airs threads is this one, 'Any attention is better than none'.  And most members know that Airs postings are not being overlooked. Air has no need to make any comments -even if he wanted to - as his postings gain attention. It could be taken as a job well done on his part. 

    Most members are adults and recognise not one person can be liked by everyone or indeed anyone, yet we accept this without a second thought. When meeting people in real life whose vibration tends to conflict with our own, most people don't normally provoke them physically or verbally, they leave them be, while looking for people whose vibrations they are attracted to without any unpleasantness being experienced. On a forum it is no different. 

    People come and go from forums as we know, most likely due to changes of energy and interests. Some comments may cause others to experience feelings which they would rather not face at the time, and choose to leave the site. It's natural that this is their own decision, perhaps it is not the right time for them to deal with their emotions, or whatever else it is that affects only them. Claiming certain members are responsible for other people leaving a site is in my view pointless, even though it may initially appear that way. Usually there is more to it than what is seen on the surface, unless we are that person, we have not got a clue as to what the actual reason or truth may happen to be.
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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  Thunder Bow on Wed May 13, 2015 7:50 pm

    1antique wrote:
    Native Spirit wrote: wrote:What i see are difference of opinions im being honest i dont like that air just posts and leaves he doesnt interact with anyone,he is ignorant,
    he is preaching if i wanted to hear preachimg i would go to chapel or church  i dont because im not interested.
    if he interacted it wouldnt be so bad.but he is not interested,and i find that rude he is using the forums as his pulpit. we have strong people here each with our own way,but i do agree with a lot that Thunder Bow says

    If the 3 of you are so uninterested in what Air Thoughts posts, then why are you constantly in the threads? If I was uninterested in what someone was posting, I just would not click on the thread. But, the three of you are going out of your way just to degrade this member....i.e. calling Air Thoughts ignorant. 

    My best thought: Again, if you don't like what this member is posting, don't click on their thread.

    You said this many times before, time to change the recording. Flip it over and play some music! :mecry:

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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  mac on Wed May 13, 2015 9:01 pm

    Earthealer wrote:Aha okay mac... now I understand, thank ya for clarifying it. sometimes those old expressions surface everywhere lol 

    :giggles:
    The older ones probably use the older ones....  And I'm now one of the older ones!

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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  mac on Wed May 13, 2015 9:12 pm

    I hesitate to join a probably-pointless debate but despite my preference for member interchange, Air Thoughts is entitled to use this website within the rules, something he's presumably been doing as Violet hasn't stopped him.  Some websites have bans on proselytising but he doesn't seem to be doing that anyway....  He may be rude by not interacting (it's a moot point) but he's not breaking website rules.  And the easiest option is just to stay away from what aggravates you. 

    Nobody is strong - in my eyes - to keep attacking someone's character or behaviour.
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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  Thunder Bow on Wed May 13, 2015 9:54 pm

    Actually, this debate has injected much needed energy into this forum. It is good to see this. Best NOT to make it personal, and stay away from personal accusations. I did not see much name calling however. Ignoring is not the best option in all cases. It works well for some cases but not all. Some times one needs to speak up about what aggravates one, or it will go unresolved. Bullying is about Control, and personal accusations are about control. 1antique says ignore AIR if you do not like his posts. This shows she does not want ones who object to be posting there. If one objects to a thread or method of posting, It is some times best to do so. I noticed 1antique gets a little to personal in her replies. Time to back down on that.

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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  mac on Wed May 13, 2015 10:10 pm

    I didn't see any bullying.


    Violet - whose website it is - hasn't seen fit to take action over any of the postings and it seems to me that it's a continuing storm in a teacup.  I don't see that any of the protagonists in the thread under consideration are any more right, or any more wrong, than any other.


    My stance is that it's totally acceptable to discuss and debate points raised but not the way they're written.  I read many postings that I dislike or don't agree with but I don't take a pop at the way someone has expressed herself or himself in them.  Maybe I'm mellowing with advancing years?
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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  Thunder Bow on Wed May 13, 2015 10:21 pm

    mac wrote:I didn't see any bullying.


    Violet - whose website it is - hasn't seen fit to take action over any of the postings and it seems to me that it's a continuing storm in a teacup.  I don't see that any of the protagonists in the thread under consideration are any more right, or any more wrong, than any other.


    My stance is that it's totally acceptable to discuss and debate points raised but not the way they're written.  I read many postings that I dislike or don't agree with but I don't take a pop at the way someone has expressed herself or himself in them.  Maybe I'm mellowing with advancing years?

    To me personal accusations are a form of bullying. Also yelling (large font) is bullying. Look at the control issue. The way posts are written tells a lot about the intentions of the writer. Thus I look at the whole picture. Not just the subject alone. I think the energy here is good, as long as it does not get personal. Debate does not need to be a question of right or wrong. I say lets debate so we can learn from each other. :yay:

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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  mac on Thu May 14, 2015 7:48 am

    Thunder Bow wrote:
    mac wrote:I didn't see any bullying.


    Violet - whose website it is - hasn't seen fit to take action over any of the postings and it seems to me that it's a continuing storm in a teacup.  I don't see that any of the protagonists in the thread under consideration are any more right, or any more wrong, than any other.


    My stance is that it's totally acceptable to discuss and debate points raised but not the way they're written.  I read many postings that I dislike or don't agree with but I don't take a pop at the way someone has expressed herself or himself in them.  Maybe I'm mellowing with advancing years?

    To me personal accusations are a form of bullying. Also yelling (large font) is bullying. Look at the control issue. The way posts are written tells a lot about the intentions of the writer. Thus I look at the whole picture. Not just the subject alone. I think the energy here is good, as long as it does not get personal. Debate does not need to be a question of right or wrong. I say lets debate so we can learn from each other. :yay:
    To me capitals (shouting) are bad manners and shouldn't be used on a website forum unless there's a very special reason.

     Personality attacks need a moderator's involvement and are unaccaeptable to me also. 

    The style of writing/presentation may well tell something about the writer but so what?  Few can express themselves well in words hence the picture gained isn't a whole picture anyway.  My preference is to debate the points in the posting and not concern myself with who wrote them....

    When I refered to right or wrong it was in respect of the way members present and not the points they make.  When I have something to say that's important to me I make sure I can support and defend the points I make - similar to an interview where it's essential to be able to do it with one's resumee / curriculum vitae.  But that's just me and others do what suits them; that's the nature of forum interchange.  We each are often different from those we 'speak' to.
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    Re: Arguments in the forum

    Post  SpiritVoices on Thu May 14, 2015 10:16 am

    mac wrote:
    Earthealer wrote:Aha okay mac... now I understand, thank ya for clarifying it. sometimes those old expressions surface everywhere lol 

    :giggles:
    The older ones probably use the older ones....  And I'm now one of the older ones!
    No Mac!  You're still a wee boy!.........stay that way,my friend....

    Joanie x

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